When Ava Grace is constantly on my mind...

When Ava Grace is constantly on my mind I like it but I also find it difficult to concentrate or be motivated to do anything. So lately I start sewing when I feel this way. There are so any other things I could and should be doing as a busy mum and teacher but I'm no good to anyone when I can't concentrate! 

Today was one of 'those'days. My son is sick with a cold, my daughter was having epic tantrums and I was just over everything - which meant I actually got a lot of sewing done. Today I made 9 blanket sets. A large version and a small keepsake version. The fabric I used was a baby elephant theme for 5 of the sets and the other 4 I used fairytale themed fabric. I have the same baby elephant material in blue so that will be my next job. 

I miss her so much on days like today. 

I've had a lump sitting in my throat all day  while I've been on the verge of tears - but I haven't and I'm starting to think that it's a bit weird that I keep feeling like I want and need to cry but I don't/can't. 

It's the 16th May tomorrow, two whole months since Ava has been gone. I'd also be at the point on my baby having a good chance of survival if born right now - had she not already died because of cystic hygroma.