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Sunday, 10 May 2015

Mothers Day Gifts

Today was Mothers Day and my husband and kids tried really hard to make it a good day for me even though they knew I was distracted with my sadness around not being pregnant with Ava which I should have been at this point, but we had a lot of fun too and was spoilt wih breakfast at a lovely cafe and we had a lot of laughs.

It's hard when your heart feels so full but at the same time it's broken and there is a piece that's missing that you know won't be fixed. 

My daughter painted this picture for me and have it to me this morning saying "mum, I painted a picture of Ava for you because I know you miss her" and later on she gave me a pancake she had decorated and she had drawn a star with icing telling me that I had to imagine that Ava was invisible sitting on the star. 

She then came and gave me a plate of strawberries and said she had made Ava's face with them. 

In the first few weeks after Ava died she didn't talk about Ava much which was fine, but I find she is talking more and more about her now which is music to my ears but I hate that she also has to process that she has a sister that isn't here. It's so bittersweet! 

She bought me a purple teddy from the Mother's Day stall at school and told me it was just like my bear of hope so I can remember Ava :) 

Tomorrow marks 8 weeks at 11.58am since she was born. Miss her more everyday...

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