It’s been awhile since I last blogged. This doesn’t mean I think about or talk about Ava Grace any less than I have in the past 3.5 years. Ava is constantly on my mind and also comes up in conversation a lot.
I was thinking today about Pregnancy and Infant loss awareness month which is October each year. It’s nice that attention and awareness can be given to this important topic but it also makes me wonder why there is still such taboo and such secrecy around pregnancy loss. What is it that makes people so uncomfortable to talk and acknowledge these little lives?
Why are people so uncomfortable talking about miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss and termination for medical reasons? Why are people shut down when they try to speak their babies names? Why do people hide their pain? Why do people talk about their pain yet no one wants to listen? If someone loses a loved one in their later years and they talk about them, why is that seen as natural and something that others engage in? Is it because it is memories of a person who lived a long life? A baby that dies in the womb still created memories for their parents, they still have a story to tell, even though it may have been short. Some people say goodbye to their loved one holding their hand as they take their last breath or say their goodbyes once they are already gone. So why oh why is it wrong of bereaved parents to want to see and hold their baby after they are born sleeping or pass soon after?
Maybe in 100 years the conversation around baby loss will be completely different. Maybe bereaved parents will have their babies acknowledged daily. Maybe all babies will be legally recognised whether they hit the magic 20 week mark or not. Maybe all health professionals will have sufficient training to provide appropriate and compassionate care for bereaved parents and their precious babies.
Maybe our babies names will be spoken, written, heard and not forgotten.
