After my first miscarriage in 2008, I felt very alone. The comments I had after it happened were not very encouraging and it felt like everyone's answer was to "just try again", which is so unhelpful to someone who has just lost their baby - it's not a new baby they want, it's the baby that they lost! You can't replace your living children, so replacing one pregnancy with another and expecting the person to be able to pretend it never happened is wrong. Of course, many women do go on to conceive again quickly after their loss and the reality is a lot of those babies would not have been here had they not lost their first. My daughter Ella is one of them! The first time I was pregnant I was due May 21st 2009 and my daughter Ella was due October 12th the same year. I will be forever grateful for my Ella, and the fact that with the help of fertility treatment I didn't have to wait long for my rainbow! Being pregnant again gave me something to look forward too, but it also didn't take away from the pain of missing that baby that stopped developing very early on. Anxiety was high for the entire pregnancy, due to having the innocence of pregnancy ripped from beneath me at 8.5 weeks, as well as other complications which is another story in itself!
A few years ago a friend of mine wrote a blog post about her miscarriages and I know it really impacted me at the time. I was glad that someone was talking about babyloss and not hiding it away as so many of us do because of the reactions we fear and sadly often receive. I really identified with the feelings she shared.
With Lisa's permission I'd like to share her story here with you: