When I had our first two children I felt an instant wave of love and protection for them - seeing Ava immediately after her birth I felt exactly the same. I was in awe. I was excited to meet her, to call her the name we had picked just for her! The first pictures taken of me after her birth are of me beaming ear to ear while I held her and took in every tiny and beautiful feature. We discussed every inch of her body, from her petite ears, to her tiny nose to her perfect fingers.
I know that people who haven't experienced a still and silent birth probably find this hard to believe, and there will be others who have themselves experienced their baby being born still and they have not felt how I felt, but this is my story, this is Ava's story.
A moment of your heart being completely full of love and at the same time being shattered into a million pieces.
The tears did come and when they came they did not stop, but I don't remember crying until the following morning when I woke up knowing she wasn't coming home and we would be leaving without her.
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