Packaged and ready to go!

I spent most of today packaging up the blanket packs. I currently have 47 blanket packs and 9 tiny baby crochet blanket packs. I have personally made 42 of them. 5 were made by Rachel Jones and the crochet blankets were made by Sara Fifer and her mother. 

47 families will now be able to wrap their precious baby up and have a small keepsake blanket to take home with them to remember what their baby was last wrapped in. 

The smallest blanket is a tiny 16x16cm and my largest is 60x60cm. These babies will have something that belongs just to them. Holding and folding these tiny baby blankets was very emotional for me, memories taking me back exactly 2 months ago to the 16th March when Ava was wrapped in her Grandma and Grandads knitted and sewn blankets and laying on 2 others donated to the hospital by volunteers. 

Below is a photo of my personal favourite for a little girl. 

My gorgeous husband made new cards and stickers, this time including a black circle where I was able to write the size in so that the midwives would quickly be able to pick the right size for each baby. 

They are packed in plastic and secured with a sticker that has links to this blog and a picture of Ava's footprints. A card is included inside with the same details. It would be nice in the months and years to come to be able to connect with families who receive them through my blog and Facebook page. 

My Twin is running for Bears of Hope

My twin sister Nicole and her friend Jessica are running in a charity event - The Northern Territory City to Surf to raise funds for the organisation Bears of Hope in a few weeks time. I have blogged about this organisation before as they have been a great support to our family since losing Ava. 

Please consider sponsoring Nicole and Jessica! 

http://ntcity2surf2015.gofundraise.com.au/page/DavisNicole#.VVbEm9RiBgg.facebook

So proud of my twin for supporting us in this way. She has only started running recently! 

Meet Amelia - a CH/LM fighter!

Not long before Ava died I was put in contact through an international Lymphatic Malformation online forum with Jessica who is also from NSW Australia. We were told Ava had a large cystic hygroma which in the weeks to come we would find out she had more than 1 and just how big and extensive they were. Cystic hygroma is also known as lymphatic malformation. I had trying to find someone who lived in Aus for weeks. As this condition is very rare it is difficult to find children who live with it. Many babies do not survive the pregnancy, especially in extensive cases such as Ava's. Her daughter Amelia was born with cystic hygroma / lymphatic malformation. She is an amazing little girl who has been through so much. She is only 16 months old and has so far had 17 surgeries. She has been in hospital for 8.5 months of her whole life so that's half the time she has been here. Her mum cares for her 24/7. She has a tracheostomy as her airway has been compromised by the CH and is fed through her stomach through a gastrostomy as she is unable to eat. She gets sick very easily as it effects her immune system. She is currently in hospital at the moment. It is a lifelong condition. 

Below are some links I would love you to look at to gain some more information on what life is like for Amelia and her family living with this. You can also support Amelia and children just like her through the bandaged bear appeal that has been set up on behalf of Amelia. 

https://bandagedbearchina2015.everydayhero.com/au/fundraising-on-behalf-of-amelia-alispahic

This is a short video where about halfway through Amelia's family is shown discussing Amelia and what the hospital has done for them

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0Bx1xMVgy1vpjaVljRVQ4d19BeE0/view?pli=1

Next week on the 6pm news on channel 7 they are also being featured in a story. Once the details are confirmed about what night I will post about it. 

When Ava Grace is constantly on my mind...

When Ava Grace is constantly on my mind I like it but I also find it difficult to concentrate or be motivated to do anything. So lately I start sewing when I feel this way. There are so any other things I could and should be doing as a busy mum and teacher but I'm no good to anyone when I can't concentrate! 

Today was one of 'those'days. My son is sick with a cold, my daughter was having epic tantrums and I was just over everything - which meant I actually got a lot of sewing done. Today I made 9 blanket sets. A large version and a small keepsake version. The fabric I used was a baby elephant theme for 5 of the sets and the other 4 I used fairytale themed fabric. I have the same baby elephant material in blue so that will be my next job. 

I miss her so much on days like today. 

I've had a lump sitting in my throat all day  while I've been on the verge of tears - but I haven't and I'm starting to think that it's a bit weird that I keep feeling like I want and need to cry but I don't/can't. 

It's the 16th May tomorrow, two whole months since Ava has been gone. I'd also be at the point on my baby having a good chance of survival if born right now - had she not already died because of cystic hygroma. 

Drop off arranged Wednesday 20th May

I just spoke to the Nurse Unit Manager at my local hospital where I delivered Ava to organise a time I could drop the blankets off. She was lovely and we have arranged  for me to go in on Wednesday 20th May to meet with her and give her the blankets I have made so far. 

Now to get busy packaging them all up! 

It will be the first time back on the ward so feeling a bit emotional about it but it will be good to see the midwives and staff who cared for us and Ava too and give back to the hospital who were so wonderful. 

40 + 2 blanket packs completed

I have completed 40 blanket packs since I started sewing. I have already given away two packs sadly to people I know. 

A bit proud of myself for someone who only started sewing weeks ago and had no idea how to begin with! My secret is actually husband - I have no idea how to set the machine up so he does this for me to start and if anything goes wrong - he fixes it! 

I have made all of the blankets in a variety of sizes, some are for either gender and others are more specific to a little boy or little girl. Some would be suitable for a baby from about 13 weeks right up until a full term stillbirth. 

The blankets are in packs of two. One normal size blanket for the baby to be wrapped in and a smaller one for the parents to keep as a reminder of the one their baby was wrapped in. 

Now I have to work up the courage to organise a day I can go into the hospital I delivered Ava in and take them to the ward where she was born as a second trimester loss. I couldn't even tell you what the ward looks like it even who half the midwives were who cared for us there as I was in shock and couldn't see through the tears. I had my head down coming in and leaving as I couldn't bear to see other pregnant women with their bellies or holding their babies. 

If you are a sewer, knitter or do crochet and would like to contribute by either donating fabric or wool or can make Angel baby blankets/nappies/clothes etc please contact me - I would love to have your help! Please feel free to share my blog and the Facebook page so that other who may be interested can help too. 

Sadly miscarriage and stillbirth is all too common. I asked a midwife how often people were giving birth to their babies that had died on the ward I was on and was told every few days in that hospital. 

Thanks for your support! 

Mothers Day Gifts

Today was Mothers Day and my husband and kids tried really hard to make it a good day for me even though they knew I was distracted with my sadness around not being pregnant with Ava which I should have been at this point, but we had a lot of fun too and was spoilt wih breakfast at a lovely cafe and we had a lot of laughs.

It's hard when your heart feels so full but at the same time it's broken and there is a piece that's missing that you know won't be fixed. 

My daughter painted this picture for me and have it to me this morning saying "mum, I painted a picture of Ava for you because I know you miss her" and later on she gave me a pancake she had decorated and she had drawn a star with icing telling me that I had to imagine that Ava was invisible sitting on the star. 

She then came and gave me a plate of strawberries and said she had made Ava's face with them. 

In the first few weeks after Ava died she didn't talk about Ava much which was fine, but I find she is talking more and more about her now which is music to my ears but I hate that she also has to process that she has a sister that isn't here. It's so bittersweet! 

She bought me a purple teddy from the Mother's Day stall at school and told me it was just like my bear of hope so I can remember Ava :) 

Tomorrow marks 8 weeks at 11.58am since she was born. Miss her more everyday...